Posted by: minz | September 12, 2010

I don’t know in what manner I should or could, but I’m back. I’ll be writing again.

Posted by: minz | December 11, 2009

hopelessly, helplessly


Posted by: minz | December 10, 2009

Christmas caught me flat-footed

It might be just me, thinking rashly again. But I’m considering retiring from blogging for awhile. A long while actually. I haven’t blogged in months,  not for lack of things to write about. On the contrary, I was snowballed. Overwhelmed. Run-over by events that I wasn’t able to..handle quite well. I sucked, acually. And it hurts me to realize how little I’ve learned from my …checkered past.

I guess that’s what gets me. Now, I find it difficult to pretend that everything is okay. Because it’s not. I’m not.

And it’s Christmas. In my life, everything just has to happen on Christmas which makes it even more depressing. 

I’m just tired in that I can’t even bring myself to write.

Posted by: minz | November 11, 2009

I’m back! Smoke-free.

Exactly a month after my last post but it certainly feels like forever since I last blogged. Especially after a myriad of events that had transpired in that short span which effectively changed my life for good.

 Sofia turned four. In mummyworld that is equivalent to more headaches that I am equipped to handle. She shunned a Dora party for a Hannah Montana contending that she’s a “big girl” and that Nick Jonas is her boyfriend. What do I have left to say about that? But I just have to say that my daughter is ..beautiful. I don’t know what I’ve done in my past life to deserve such a sweet, loving, smart and fun child.  No matter what, I know I’m blessed.

The “no matter what” refers to unfortunate happenings that I’ve no special  immunity to. I lost a few cases in succession this past month. I’d concede a rookie mistake to one of them. That much I’d admit. But the rest I blame to good, old corruption in this country. I didn’t mind too much those which were office-related (though I shed a few tears over them) because I can always leave them on my desk when I clock out. But that errant and obviously BOUGHT decision declaring my election to the Board of Directors of our condo-owners association as illegal really hurt. You know that feeling when you know that you are doing the right thing and yet the forces that be make it so damn hard? So now I, and the rest the Board, are facing execution to which we struck our own people power by moving for a special election this Saturday. This whole fiasco had seriously affected my work, play –just my whole persona. For some reason, it also led to my sudden decision to..

Quit smoking.  Yep, I QUIT. Concomitant to my state of panic and depression, instead of puffing away the stress, I chose to drop it altogether. Beats me why. It’s like my whole body is rebelling against everything..bad, unhealthy, BULOK. That’s all. I pray that I pull this off. If I do, it would be my life’s most stellar achievement. Really.

On the lighter side, my Yanks won the 27th. I wanted to catch the first flight to JFK and join the parade. I realized I have very few passions in life: Lambda, mommyhood, blogging and the Yankees. I’ve turned Santi into a fan and he now wants to watch the Bombers live in Yankee Stadium. That’s in our bucket list as a couple and we will make that happen..but not next year because of the..

Wedding. It is turning out to be like an Ondoy relief nuptials. Since I have announced the date, Santi and I received , not only congratulatory messages, but also advanced presents from friends. To date, we are a proud  (and eternally touched) recipients of free pre-nuptial photos, videographer and a honeymoon to Singapore. And this wedding is still a year away! Like I posted in my facebook status, I must have done something good in my past life to have such great friends.  

In sum, this month, while almost toppling me over, is still a blessed one. And I am still heck of grateful. 

Posted by: minz | October 10, 2009

This wedding is a go!

So we finally reserved Coconut Palace today, as planned.October came swiftly that we didn’t even notice it at all. (Or maybe our September took the wind out of our sails! We are still reeling from twin-storms Ondoy and Pepeng).

On the way to our reception venue of choice, Santi and I were still debating over what date we’d reserve it for. I just realized how hard it is to ensure that the church and reception are available on one’s wedding day. It’s a juggling act! I’m still looking for a church. Since we couldn’t have our first choice , Our Lady of Montserrat (San Beda Church) which does not celebrate weddings anymore,  we’re finding it tough to settle for any other. San Beda is the sentimental choice. That’s where we met. (In fact, if the good Benedictine brothers allow us, we’d be delighted to have our pre-nuptial photos taken there. ) But as of now, the church bit is still problematic. Sigh.

So this week I opted to sort out suppliers , from photographers to videographers, checking out their availability.I’ve decided on some must-haves like Hizon’s for the food, and MangoRed for the photos. Never mind that  they will take up half of my  budget, good food and and beautiful pictures top our list of priorities. I haven’t even given much thought on my gown. No idea whatsoever on how it should look like. I figure it’s not the dress but the one wearing it that matters. Meaning, this bride here has to lose half of herself , pronto! So the gown (and the designer) will have to wait. Like six more months, HA!

As I was saying, it was only when we arrived in Coconut Palace that Santi and I decided on a date:10/30/10. Wee! It’s two days from our original civil wedding anniversary which suits Santi fine because he doesn’t want to remember too many dates. Men and anniversaries.Now, he has no reason to forget all forthcoming Octobers!

Anyhow,I felt a tinge , actually not a tinge, but more of an overwhelming rush of excitement when I signed that contract with Coconut Palace. It’s finally coming true. Our dream wedding. After five years of excruciating wait, we’re doing it. And it becomes more meaningful for a couple like us who had a baby first, built a home next before getting married. What can I say? Normal will never be a word to describe Santi and me. At least, by virtue of the fact that we’d been husband and wife for years, we can actually have fun on our wedding:)  That is the plan.

We’re attending Hizon’s food-tasting tomorrow and this early, I’ve to send all my warmest thanks to them for giving us the best upgrades.Dessert bar, Pasta bar, sushi bar and chocolate fountain for FREE. It’s only now that I fathom what other brides mean when they say:BOOK EARLY! It pays. Really. Now, I’m hoping that I strike a bit of luck when I book MangoRed by the end of this month.

But for now, I’m savoring my little success with the reception venue and caterer reservations.

Here is an evening shot of Coconut Palace’s poolside.

I can’t wait for my turn! I just can’t! 🙂

Posted by: minz | October 6, 2009

5 things to be happy about

1. Sun is up. After Ondoy, heaven knows we needed some reprieve.

2. Generous kababayans who have flooded relief centers with goods so much that supermarkets are rendered noodle-less!

3. Overseas Filipino Workers , thank you, all of you, for not forgetting us here in P.I.

4. The international community for extending aid to our grief-stricken city, special mention to Canada which tops the list. 200 Million dollars. Bless you, Canada!

5. Thank you, Lord, for keeping my family safe. For this chance to tell of your kindness, and of the rainbow after the darkness. Thank you, Topman.

Posted by: minz | October 6, 2009

“Where I am from , everyone is a hero”

How does one tell a story of a perfect storm that wrought so much pain and loss to one’s home? Are there words to describe the misery that came with the flood that swept everything away in one fell swoop? And when I say home, I don’t mean that little house Santi and I made or that one in BF where I spent most of my childhood.

I mean, Manila. My home. Our city that was ravaged by “Ondoy”, an unassuming tropical storm which ironically but wretchedly brought the heaviest rainfall to the country in 30 years. In a blink of an eye, people scampered like rats as flood waters entered houses, buildings, bridges. Everywhere we looked, there was water.

And everywhere we looked, there was death.

I know that my family is one of the lucky ones. Save for a few days without power and internet, we lost nothing.

When some lost all the members of their families and most, their homes. It took me a week to let it sink in, the magnitude of their loss and how waking up in this city will never be the same. Now each time the rain falls, I find myself asking if it will be worse than Ondoy. Or if we’d live through it.

Despite this, I know one thing is true. I’d choose live nowhere else but here.

This is a nation where , in a matter of hours, citizens donated everything they could, kitchen sink and all, to relief drives. This is where people braved the tide and swam, surfed, jet-skied, speed-boated to the rescue of neighbors stuck on top of their roofs.This is where employers, like my very own, opened their compounds to accommodate employees who survived  the storm. Fed, clothed and nursed them back to health. This is where people risked their lives to save complete strangers.

This is a country, this is a city, where everywhere you look , there’s a hero.


Posted by: minz | September 30, 2009

Not today

I always hear this in every oldies’ radio station since I was …what? 15? When I discovered the wonders of google, I looked for it in the web and found out it was sang by Stonebolt. Now, I have no idea who or what Stonebolt is.

But I like their song.

In the aftermath of Ondoy, I just want to sit still and breathe. I will be thankful, angry, grief-stricken, helpless another day.  For now, I am..stonebolted.



Love ’em and leave ’em
Give them the air
Hurt and deceive them
Say you don’t care
Break their hearts and let them fall
Like rain on your back stairs
Then call me up tomorrow
You know I’ll still be there

When the moon disappears forever
And the sun shines electric blue
And the mountains and trees tumble into the sea
To rest there for eternity
No matter what you do
I will still love you

So if all your bridges go up in flames
And if all your lovers strike you too tame
Or some sad song of love you hear
Can make you call my name
I will be there in a minute
And you know I’ll feel the same

When the moon disappears forever
And the sun shines electric blue
And the mountains and trees tumble into the sea
To rest there for eternity
No matter what you do
I will still love you

So the weary traveler
Tired of passing through
Stops to get his bearings
And stays on to wait for you

When the moon disappears forever
And the sun shines electric blue
And the mountains and trees tumble into the sea
To rest there for eternity
No matter what you do
I will still love you
I will still love you

Posted by: minz | September 19, 2009

Prepping for the 4th

I’m in the thick of preparations for Sofia’s 4th birthday coming this November. Owing to the family’s self-imposed travel moratorium, we chose to give the little girl a small party to celebrate her day. I went to Shakey’s El Pueblo this morning and reserved their function room for the big day. I’m not too excited about the restaurant’s theme choices so it will probably be a toss-up between Dora the Explorer and Hannah Montana. Shakey’s does not allow other mascots aside from their own so I’m a bit disappointed about that. To make up for the lack of mascot, they allowed me to install a photo booth where the guests can have their pictures taken with on-the-spot printing. This seems to be a fad with weddings and parties lately and I think it might be fun to give it a try.

Looking at it now on paper, what appears to be a “simple” party is looking to be a complicated one:) As usual. I will forever have trouble in keeping things simple for Sofia. I always want what’s best for her or if that’s not possible, the best that I can give. If you are a parent, it’s not easy to say when enough is enough. Especially when I never had these things (themed parties) when I was a kid.But even then, I always felt that my parents gave their best to me. That’s what I’d like Sofia to feel. That she has the best of me and her dad. Even it means scouring all over Divisoria for loot bags and party favors, so be it. That’s the part of being a Mom I like anyway. Planning trips and birthdays. Taking pictures and documenting our adventures as a family.

Posted by: minz | September 17, 2009

The Matchmaker

Many years back, I was in a relationship with someone else when I entered Lambda and met Santi. Me being a city girl and him a veritable “promdi” (from the province), I couldn’t figure out why my new-found brods and sisses were convinced that we would click and collectively summoned their matchmaking skills to hook us up. Santi and I are the proverbial “oil and water”. Aside from fraternal ties, we had nothing, as in zip, in common. And worse. We were like the characters in Hancock. Anytime we get together, a volcano erupts or something. I mean, if I can be very honest, I never thought we stood a chance.

But here we are.

Not too belittle our own gargantuan efforts as a couple (especially Santi’s), I’ve always known that if our friends did not see a glimmer of hope then, there’d be no “us”.

This is why I wish I’d tried harder with a couple of friends. Dear friends whose stars , I feel, are aligned but are just too stubborn to see it. Harder as it was for them to be together, it’s virtually impossible to stay apart. Knowing this, I wish I had pulled all the stops. Pestered them more. Trapped them in an empty farm lot without cars and cellphones, just themselves. Maybe if I did, theirs would be a happily ever after. And not miserably attempting  to have that happily-ever-after with someone else.

Or maybe it’s just me. My hopeless romantic self. That part which believes in fate and second chances. At least no one can say that I’m a fool to think such things exist, not when Santi and I came to be in exactly that way.


Older Posts »