Posted by: minz | October 1, 2008

A broken hearted me

There are mornings  I wake up to that make me feel that nothing could go wrong. That everything is in place. That I am on in all cylinders. Wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, lawyer.  Most days I try to take on the road less traveled. Do the right thing, make sound decisions. Tell the truth. Forgive. I thought doing all these now could change the results of the poor ones I made a lifetime ago. That somehow it can make me look less like a fool that I was when I made them.

Today I tried. Told the truth. Stood up for myself. Kept my word. Yet I failed. If I was redeemed, I got nothing to show for it. Only mountains of regret and disbelief.

Today I am defeated. Humiliated. Torn apart by a web of lies spun by someone who meant the world to me. I searched for a consolation and found none.

In my broken down heart, under its deepest recesses, I wish that my daughter would never, ever know this kind of sadness. That in this very moment, I have taken it all so there could be none left for her.  That I could protect her from all the hurt that loving, trusting, waiting can bring. Because in truth, on a night like this, it’s more than one heart can take.

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Responses

  1. Hi… I hope that you’re coping with what you are going through. I started my blog too, as a means of expressing myself amidst my problems… We got through it, hope you will too…

  2. Hello. we do get by, i think. But a lot of help come from blogging, yes. Best of luck with your little corner;) i’ll visit you there! thanks.

  3. ate,

    kung sino man yung _ _ _ _k na yun, to hell!

  4. tlagang ilagay ang “k” anu? anyway, i’m over it ate. i am. at kahit hell di cya tatanggapin. un lang, i thank you!


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