Posted by: minz | October 21, 2008

Stuck

Last night while I was driving home, I received a text message from a someone I met once. It is worthy to note that I had spoken with her only that time and never again. For this reason, the contents and timing of her message caught me off guard, to put it mildly. Truth be told, it left me in a bit of a shock. Here is the first of a “series” of messages she sent me. I thought best to edit some parts that may incriminate innocent persons (or are they really that innocent or are they even persons?)

Hi Mina..I don’t know how I ran to you..it’s just that when we talked before, you gave the impression that you were being treated badly by him yet I can see that you were still in to him. My bf and I just broke up.  he doesn’t treat me well.But God how I love him! I’m just wondering if I’ll be stuck with this feeling the way you are stuck with your feeling for _____, (if that’s the case) because it hurts like hell.”

Geez. And I’m not geezing at her or her good for nothing ex-boyfriend who I don’t know from Adam. It’s the “stuck” part that gets me. That I exuded being “stuck”  on somebody when I met her. Thing is, (which is why I’m still replaying the messages in my head), I am so embarrassed. Imagine that. A complete stranger saw through me and my pathetic, glass-housed feelings.  While I did not even try to hide any of it when I was speaking to her, it must have “stuck” (no pun intended, damn it) big time because she chose to text me. Me and not any of her 954 other friends. Me. I want to crawl into a cave and hide. Do I still look stuck? Am I still stuck? Will I be, from here on out, be the Queen of Stuck People Unite?

On the lighter side (there is rainbow here somewhere!), I tried to answer her questions. I don’t know her, really know her but I feel for her. Whether or not we are in the same shoes right now is immaterial. I’ve been there, that much is true. If I can help anybody realize that there is way out of being stuck, then I will reach out. if I can pull one soul out of its deathly gallows, then pull I will.

Someone told me a long time ago what depression really means. In a nutshell, it  means arriving at the wrong conclusions. I believe him. It’s force-feeding oneself to believe that something is true or real when it’s not. Hence, the state of stuck-ness.

i wonder how many of us are falling into its quicksand. I wonder if everyone can get out. One thing is for sure, stuck can’t be good. In fact, I hate stuck.

Let’s un-glue ourselves from it. It’s about time….

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: