Posted by: minz | December 24, 2008

About last night

I looked into the eyes of someone who made a Christmas wish come true. An  apology long overdue, a vow to change and an offer of friendship.

Even if it came after many years of quiet suffering on my part, I welcomed it whole-heartedly because I knew I deserved it. I prayed for it incessantly. It couldn’t  have come in the most perfect timing for closures. Christmas. Year end. It is as if my jaded, unforgiving self  of which I wrote about just yesterday was put to the test.  Surreal, isn’t it?

And through this,  all my endless questions, “How could you have treated me so shabbily? How could you have not taken the cudgels for me? How could you have left me to take all the blows? How?” were put to rest.  Whatever the reasons given didn’t matter then. All that was left was “I’m sorry, all that ends now, can we be friends?”. That was all I needed to hear, really.

Last night, a stormy chapter in my life that left me permanently scarred ended and it feels so good.

What was left unsaid, for my part at least, is that my defenses are still paper thin. I still love. I still care. But I am okay doing that from far away.  I gave that someone a big, tight hug and waved a last goodbye.

I am flawed but I’m cleaning up so well.  Now, I am vindicated. I am, finally, free.

   

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